It’s that time of the year again! Johnnukkah! For those who don’t know, Johnnukkah is a festival of presents that you give to me for 2 weeks before AND after my birthday.
Like last year, I’ll provide you with more information about Johnnukkah including what you can eat and do to celebrate:
What is Johnnukkah?
Johnnukkah is a festival of presents. Given to me each day for 2 weeks before AND after my birthday. Seeing that I was born unto this world on January 24th, Johnnukkah begins at dawn every year on January 10th and ends at dusk on Feburary 7th.
the F*** celebrates Johnnukkah?
So far, I am the only person that celebrates Johnnukkah. And that’s alright by me. I just hope that eventually it’ll catch on and the presents start pouring in.
Why was Johnnukkah created?
Mainly for me to get presents every day. For 4 weeks.
What food do you eat during Johnnukkah?
Hale and Hearty Tomato Basil soup. Anything from Amy’s Bread. Cupcakes. Thai food. Gummy bears. Anything that makes your soul feel better.
What are some things I can do to observe the 4 weeks of Johnnukkah on my own if I can’t send you a present?
Well you should really send me a present every day for 2 weeks before and after my birthday. But if times are tough, I
understand hope you find a way to make it happen. However, some activities that you could do to celebrate Johnnukkah are:
- watch Oxygen
- listen to Lady Gaga on full blast and try to do the dances
- play with your iPhone
- play tennis
- nap all day long
- wear sweatpants in public
- order food at a restaurant with a British accent
- stare at MacBooks on the online Apple store
- Congratulate Serena Williams on just existing
Don’t you think this is conceited, John?
Um no. I don’t. I like presents.
So mark your calendars folks because Johnnukkah is in full force today!!! WHAT DID YOU GET ME!?