As I sit here at my desk with the latest issue of GQ which has a headline that reads, “We Finally Found the G-Spot! Complete Map on Page 260,” I realize that I REALLY wish my life had a G-Spot.
We all have our respective G-Spots, indeed. It’s that spot on or in all human beings, that when penetrated the right way, makes you want to…well…giggle, if you will. (I’m trying to keep it G-rated!)
So I am looking at my map of life (which is just a straight line in my mind)…and I want to find my life’s G-spot. Where is it? Where can I find it? I want to be able to know where it is so when I find this “spot” I can…push…and shove and capitalize on the fact that I have finally found bliss, and amazement in my life. I can tell you that Morgantown is not my life’s G-spot. I love this place, but it’s more like…the scrotum of my life. It holds precious things, but in the end it’s just kind of gross.
What I am getting at here, is while I am really happy here in Morgantown, there are things about it that make me really sad. Why does traffic make me late for any single thing to which I need to be driving? Why do I get a parking ticket when I have a permit in my windshield? Why, no matter what, do I never feel like I have enough money? Why are girls STILL wearing Ugg boots? Why does WVU have popularity contests? Where is the love of my life? Is the love of my life my G-spot? Is my G-spot an object, or is it a thought? Maybe it’s my G-thought! Did I really just type that? It has a nice little ring to it though, doesn’t it?
From now on when I think of something amazing, I’m going to call it my G-thought. (c)
Anyway, I am bored and slightly annoyed at the direction in which my life is going right now. I want stability and reassurance. Is that too much to ask? Maybe not even 100% stability and reassurance, but something close to it.
Do I really think that I am going to be able to pay back these student loans when I am finished with college? Is the degree I am getting worth all the time, effort, stress, and personal setback that it has already given me, halfway through my college career?
I hope you all have something to be excited, proud about. Share it with me, so I can be excited for someone! 🙂
Personal note for future reference: John, today you will begin Phase 1 of Operation Shut Down. You know what I’m talking about. I mean, You know what you’re talking about, since you are the one writing this.