My God, I love the game of Life. Seriously, it’s addicting. Rachel, Melissa and I played it the other night after we watched the fireworks at the fair. I lost, by $315,000. I don’t even care. I think part of the reason was because I had 2 cars full of children. I had “Adopt Twins,” and “Congratulations, you have twins!” like 40,000 times. So, I had two vehicles to tote around on this here board game.
I think the main reason I lost was because I invested $50,000 in the No.7 stock and it rarely if ever was spun. Oh well it’s all good. So, we played it that night and then today, I went down to Melissa’s at like 4 and we played two games of it by ourselves (she won both times). Then, after dinner there, she, her mom and dad, and I played. Her dad won. I am determined to win this game somehow. I know I will damn it.
I think another flaw in my game was when I bought the most expensive house. I didn’t realize that having a shitty house would turn out to be a good thing because it saves me money. I bought the $140,000 beach house the first time, because it was my most expensive choice. This board game is ingenious because it’s actually making me contemplate my own life. I mean, when I am 30, am I going to want a $140,000 beach house or am I going to do the conservative thing, and buy the split level that’s only $60,000? My bills need paid, but living in a phat house ain’t too bad either. Another thing it is helping me realize is I need to make sure I don’t have sex with random people and end up with 3 sets of twins. All it takes is a spin of the wheel and boom you’ve got all the kids you’ll need and all that. I want the sport car not two $30,000 minivans. Smell what I’m steppin in?
Anyway, Life is a very intellecutal and compelling game. I would endorse each person reading this to play the game, but don’t just have fun; think about what’s going on here. Don’t end up with two minivans full of bitchy children, that when you land on a “Ski accident, pay $5,000 per child” square, you’re sorry ass goes bankrupt. *cue the sound effect when a contestant hits a ‘bankrupt’ on Wheel of Fortune…it goes like this: WHHOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo and then Pat Sajak comes over with his toupee and takes all your damn prizes.*
All I’m saying is do something with your life, and don’t let Pat Sajak steal your shit.