God damn it. I hate when things don’t work out.
This weekend I went to King’s Dominion in Virginia. I forget the name of the town or city that it was in, but quite frankly I don’t give a damn, because I won’t be going back down there. So here’s what went down.
I went over to Jenessa’s to stay the night so that we could get up early and just leave from her house instead of her having to come all the way out to Bowling Green to pick my sorry license-free ass up. So, I was up til 1:30 and I didn’t fall asleep til…about 3a.m.
We get up at 6:00 and are out the door by 6:45. We picked our awesome friend Meranda Helmick up and were on our way down the interstate by 7:00. We had to pick up Meranda’s boyfriend Mike up in Pasadena before we checked in to our hotel and then to the park. So we got to Mike’s at about 9:30, and were on our way to Virginia, on schedule. However, we got down towards Alexandria, and went 10 miles in an hour. I don’t like that idea. Someone explain to me why for almost 20 miles there is two lanes of traffic going either way. I was annoyed.
So, finally we get to our hotel. I was so excited because I just wanted to lay in a bed…even though it would have been for like 10 minutes. So we get in the lobby and find out that they had to move us to another hotel because they were booked for the night. WHAT!? EXCUSE ME!? I was just in traffic for 7 hours when it shoudl have taken 5. So, we went the hell up the street to the Howard Johnson hotel. No one knows who Howard Johnson is or what he did. I thought he was a basketball player but apparently that wasn’t the right Johnson.
We get to our hotel, and then get out real fast so we can get to the park. So we get to the park at like 3:30. I was so excited like oh my God, excited. Like, holy hell I can’t believe I’m up in this shit, excited. So, we got in line for the first roller coaster…which took 45 minutes. No big deal, the place was packed so I wasn’t too depressed. This ghetto black woman that was behind us, was screaming, “EXCUSE ME….EXCUSE ME…” because people were trying to cut in line and she wasn’t having that. She was like, “I’ma hafta go down there and cuss that man out.” Then while we were in line some park employee came over, moved a couple people out of the line and swept up a cigarette butt in to his dust pan. That same woman was like, “He sure is serious about keeping this park clean ain’t ee?” I just laughed and was like, “Uh huh.” Next ride, we waited in line for an hour…no big deal because the Volcano looked da bomb…and it was. Best ride ever. Next line was like half an hour-45 minutes. No big deal but it was about 6:00 by now. So we go to get in line for the Flight of Fear, and we are waiting so long, and then it starts raining and lightening so they closed the damn park down. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
We came back to the hotel and then went to Red Lobster. It was a very delicious meal and out waitress Aysha was awesome. The meal was the best part of the day, if you ask me.
Finally, we came home, and I passed out right away. The next day I woke up and I swear my spine had curved. No like, I had to pee really bad and couldn’t because I think my spine was poking my bladder or something. It was spina bifida I know it was. Don’t mess with me.
I was so like out of it the next morning from needing sleep still, that I wrote a note to the maid and this is what it said, “Thank you for the spinal bydeda.”
BYDEDA!? WHAT IS THAT!?
The funniest part is that I didn’t even notice until like 20 minutes later, and after the 3 other people in the room looked at it and laughed. They didn’t even say anything to me, they just laughed at how stupid I was. I guess I thought I was finishing the word by the first D or something, I don’t know. Don’t ask.
Well I could sit here and write about Hilary and Haylee Duff but I can only recount so many bad things in one sitting.